Antimeyers

So, I have visitors. Have you ever heard of Pharoah ants? Let me walk you through this. If you've ever lived in an apartment, you know that anything in an apartment comes in this horrid standard issue "apartment taupe" color. The walls, the carpet, the appliances...need I say more. It's lovely. And, as a tenent, you are not allowed to make any changes without incurring more trouble than it's worth. I digress. So. Ants. Pharoah ants themselves are a champagne color that blend right in with all that is apartment-like (new word created for this anecdote). They live in the walls between apartments, and come out to snack on whatever they can find - your food, cat food, or in my case, oh I kid you not, my freaking earlobe. They are tiny little bastards, but they leave a mark. Now, mind you, I do not live in filth. I keep my place to sometimes frighteningly OCD standards. These little jerks are not picky. New or old structure, clean or filthy space, they will move in, unpack, invite their friends and inbreed. Frost will not kill them. Nor will traditional professional insect repellent. The pros have a whole regimen just to get rid of my little buddies. So, the next time you sit down to enjoy a meal, imagine wee little me, sitting down myself yesterday to an entree salad, only to find "apartment taupe" colored ants crawling over, under and through my croutons. Bon Apetit!